cassjaytuck:

what if you started making car alarm noises when people you didn’t like touched you

“So I drank one, it became four, and when I fell on the floor I drank more. Nothing has changed, I still love you, I still love you.”

– Morrissey (via hplyrikz)

animericans:

sexuality is so dumb why does it even matter who you like no one is gonna like you back anyways

“it’s about who you miss at 2 in the afternoon when you’re busy, not 2 in the morning when you’re lonely.”

– (via azul-estrellas)

thechronicferuchemist:

Uterus, I do not understand your need to have a baby. We cannot afford a baby. I do not want a baby. Hell you wouldn’t even be happy if we had a baby. I find these temper tantrums you throw every month we don’t have a baby absolutely unacceptable.

ghcst:

im so miserable but i laugh at everything

panducky:

How Jess hits on guys

panducky:

How Jess hits on guys

unkhs:

I used to be like “I wonder what would happen if I set this thing on fire” and since then I’ve learned that more often than not the answer is “it’ll be on fire”